BOB’S HALF CHANCE

We waited for the internal medicine department to allocate us wards after doing our end of Surgery rotation exams anxiously. When the list was finally posted most of us were sad. Our hopes of having our firm II group intact were dashed. We lost our mother Nelima to 7D, which meant we would not have much drama in 7B. We also lost Muriuki, the charged student who would provide all the answers when the rest of us were blank. We also lost Maryam, the beautiful soft muslim girl who often spoke very rapidly. We however gained Virg, the tiny girl who is very vocal, perhaps in an attempt to compensate for her small size. We officially welcomed her into the group by making her the first person to present in the ward teachings.

As always the people brought the impunity they had picked from Surgery. Bhavin continued with his role as the group representative, assisted by his right hand lady, the able Maureen. The rest of the crew remained the same: Lucas (the naughty boy), Junie, Lynne, Muyira (my twin), Ekiru, Mahaa, Souha(drama queen), Ruki, Mutiso, and Rono( the latecomer).

Over the few weeks we were in 7B we enjoyed some very quiet moments. We had wonderful registrars eg Hassan (the very charged funny guy who thinks Wajir is in Somalia). The consultants have neurologic deficits, no wonder it is a neurology ward. Ndege, one of the consultants was very sarcastic. He once told Bhavin that if he was asked to describe an elephant he should not start by saying it has 99 hairs on its tail but rather start by describing its enormous trunk, ears and tusks.

We continued to depict our blondness during the ward rounds. I remember Njai was once presenting a patient with high sugars, ketones in blood and metabolic acidosis. When asked for a diagnosis he gladly shouted sepsis instead of diabetic ketoacidosis!

Anyway I now have to move on to the subject matter of this story. During our stay in the ward we got to interact with people outside this medical school such MO interns, nursing students and Clinical officers.

We had been in ward 7B for two weeks when she made a grand entrance. We were doing a major ward round keenly listening to Souha rap her patient’s history when the tapping of her high heeled shoes announced her arrival. From my advantaged view I saw all the dudes in the group look up. Even Muyira (who is usually unconcerned and unmoved by such matters) noticed her. Everyone seemed stunned by her great looks. Momentarily Dr. Onyango stopped listening and inspected her. If Kulecho was with us he would probably have written another piece on beauty from the east. She was hot. Her face had this pleasing look that was attractive and impressive to look at. Her dimples were better than those of the beauty queens we see in miss India contests. Her smile was warm and golden. Her personal physical attractiveness was one of its kind. I guessed she was created using the purest clay with a perfect finish.

Her eyes were amazing. They gave me this notion that she could see through all our hearts. They were probably the most beautiful eyes I had seen during my twenty three years of life under the sun. Her nose was molded nicely, with very pleasant lips at a reasonable distance beneath it. Her ears were also very well fine tuned. I counted a set of three ear piercings, on which some beautiful silver earrings were suspended. Her hair was black and long, completing the view of a perfect creation.

She had a light chocolate complexion. I was tempted to analyze her beyond the face but Dr. Onyango suddenly regained his composure and shot a question at the mesmerized Bob. The rest of the ward round was uneventful, but I caught Bob stealing side glances at her whenever an opportunity arose.

I could see he had seen and fallen in love with what he had seen. He admitted that he had never seen such striking beauty in his life as we had a palaver over lunch. He was eating what has become his favourite meal in the mess: fries with steak. We suggested that he could invite her for lunch or better still admit her in his room on the fourth floor of block B for complete active management. He just smiled wryly though I could see the thought excited him.

Over the next two weeks he did a background search. The information he had suggested she was the clinical officer intern in our ward. He opted for a strategic approach to this hot catch. It was a well thought of plan, but its execution was untimely. We had two more weeks in 7B when he launched his missile. He was loaded with a quiver of arrows, hot pick up lines and sharp confidence that no game could resist. I noticed they would be in the backbench of the ward rounds chatting amicably or giggling at each other childishly. He would faithfully report his progress to me as an attempt to make me jealous. He had gotten her name and was doing very well in creating a rapport. He was yet to get her number.

During our last week in 7B something extraordinary happened.  She failed to appear for a major ward round.  As we moved from room to room Bob kept staring at the crowd, hoping that she would show her beautiful face. At one point he asked if I had spotted her. As his hopes for seeing her dwindled, a young man announced that he was the new C.O. intern. I saw Bob’s face drop with disappointment. It then struck him that she had left without saying goodbye despite the fact that he did not have her digits.

He complained bitterly about the recent turn of events. His mood became labile as he recounted with nostalgia the few chances he had to advance his game plan.

Later that afternoon another dramatic event happened. We were sited around the table close to the nursing station listening attentively to Dr. Sokwala teaching about cerebral vascular diseases when she made a sudden appearance. She approached the desk cautiously. She talked to the medical officer intern briefly before looking in our direction. Lucas, Muyira, Mutiso and Rono were aware of her presence. For a moment there was a blank stare as her eyes met Bob’s.

All of a sudden I saw Bob rise from his seated position oblivious of the effort Dr. Sokwala was putting into the teaching. He walked majestically towards her. Then I noticed that there was a significant shunting of blood from essential organs such as the brain and the kidneys to a very peripheral organ which serves recreational functions! He was clearly burning in the fire she had lit.

At that point I remembered the words of my wise grandfather when I was still a young boy growing up in the village: Give a man half a chance and he takes it!

Since then I have not heard a word about her. My guess is as good as yours as regards the events that followed.